Isru Chag Shushan Purim 5778

A Shlomo Cohen Original

{This is actually cuter after the first bottle of wine)
One Purim the holy Rov
Was hit with a bolt from up above
V’Ne’Hapecha Hu said he
eb dluohs ti sdrawkcab gnihtyreve

V’Ne’Hapecha Hu can really be a game
emahs a eb yllaer t’ndluow ti teg t”nod ouy fi
Try reading it in a mirror, but never near a flame
emalb ot si niyay dna esnes on sekam Siht fo tser eht

Enjoy your Shalach Manos
After the Megila you did hear
Perhaps you started drinking
I hope it was only beer.

Because then you ran around delivering
to those whom you love dear.
Deliver, deliver, deliver,
The mere thought brings a tear.
But boy am I ever glad that
Purim comes but once a year.

Sheilos U’Tshuvos Of Hamentaschen

A Shlomo Cohen Original

{This is pretty cute after the second bottle of wine}

We join our esteemed Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav HaGaon Moreinu
V’Rabbeinu HaRav Issusschar Henoch Tzvi Hirsh Aryeh Leib HaCohain
Katzenoodlemeister Shlita (some might remember him as Iggy from his Yeshiva days), in his Heilige Kollel Dayan HaEmes as he answers questions on the
Halachos and Minhagim of Hamentashen.

“Foist fun ales, pliz pahdin mine Yinglish, Nu, Ver huyt ah kveshtyun?”

“Rebbe. From where do we learn the Mitzva of Hamentashen?”
“Ooh, Di fregts gut. Siz Nisht really ah Mitzva, uber Minhag Yisroel Torah
Hee, so it might as well be. We loin it out from the bet Haman had mit
Mutty, Ich mayn Mudchai, Haman lost the bet and had to eat his hat,”

“Moreinu HaRav. What can the Rav tell us about the proper size of a

“Foon what everybody eats you would think Haman vas a pinhead. His
ectual het size vas seven and three quarters, meaning thet the ladies
shuld make dem bigga, udair ya got to eat an awful lot of dem.”

“This year, my wife made the dough from Tofu and the filling is
creamed asparagus. Will I be Yotzei ?”

“Oy vay! Not only iz der no such Minhag, but you should see me after
Shiur about a Get.”

“So what does the Rav hold about prune?”
“Even de doctors prescribe prune ekspecial if you have stomach
problems, Machmirim dun eat prune ofen Shabbos cause pruning is

“When is the proper time to begin eating them?”
“Vell, dey taste gut all year round, uber siz best to vait until Shabbos
before Purim at Kiddush in the morning. Mit a Schnapps or 5 – Ah

A Shlomo Cohen Original

{These may not even be funny after the third bottle of wine}

When asked how he felt, what did Haman answer? A muhl fine and A muhl achy
What do cannibals eat on Purim? Nehsatnamuh
What do doctors prescribe for under developed teenagers? Nehsatenomroh
What should you serve at Kiddush when purim falls on Shabbos? Nehsatgnirreh
What do African Pygmies Eat on Purm? Nehsattotnettoh
What do you call a hamantash as large as a table? Hamantischen
Vashti wasn’t the only one who had a tail. What did Esther have? She also had a tale
What do you call an organic, soy based, gluten-free, fat free carrot filled
Hamantash? Hhcelb kiy
Why are hamantash filled with poppy seeds? Because the rest of the poppy is illegal
What do you call a hamantash filled with 25 year old glenfiddich? Smooth
What do you call a hamantash filled with 25 year old lekvar? Stale
What did the boys in the choir eat? Hummingtashen
and the Ladies Sewing Circle eat Hemmintashen
Who layns in the zoo? The Megilla gorilla
Why does Megila reading take longer in Satmar? Because they bang for “Medina”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *