What You Really Ought To Know About The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

S. Cohen  10/04

www.hiqjew.com

Stay Calm, but we just found out that the light at the end of the tunnel is really an oncoming train.

Attention! Due to financial constraints the light at the end of the tunnel will be shut off until further notice.

No wonder New Yorkers never smile. The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey!

What light? You see a light? I bet you hear little voices, too?

That’s no light. I’m just looking at you and smiling.

The light is really only there so people with tunnel vision are able to see

Lights? Haven’t you ever seen a firefly before?

The light at the end of the tunnel is a Madison Avenue myth promulgated by the credit card companies.

News Flash: In an exclusive interview with the President of Port Authority, CNN has learned, today, that there is no light, has never been a light, and no lights are planned for the end of the tunnel.

A spokesman for the AMA announced yesterday that seeing lights at the end of the tunnel is an early warning sign of senile dementia.

That’s no light. This is Disneyworld and that’s Tinkerbell.

Don’t Walk – The light at the end of the tunnel is red!

The light you see is merely the portals of Hell.

Light or no light, I’ll be darned if you’re going to get me into a tunnel.

Ladies and gentlemen. That light appearing at the end of the tunnel is only an endless rerun of “I Love Lucy”.

Light, shmight. Just get me out of here.

Note on a historical marker: Here stood the famous “light at the end of the tunnel” until the year 2000 when a crazed crowd smashed it from a distance when they realized they could never get any closer.

Mathematicians have finally proven the inverse ratio that states; “For every step you take closer to the light at the end of the tunnel it will move two steps away from you.

Commuters all know that it’s really the line at the end of the tunnel

To save money, in a recent round of budget cuts, the Mayor announced that henceforth only a night-light will be used at the end of the tunnel.

A Lady Named Lilly LaLite

Saw a glare and really took fright.

But as the tunnel came near to the end

She rounded the very last bend

And she saw ‘twas indeed just a light.

Tunnel? What tunnel? You idiot. I told you to make a right at the light at the end of the bridge!

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