Rabbi Shlomo Cohen
We have computerized your Chevrusa search. Please answer all questions as candidly as you dare.
Name___________________ What does everybody call you ? _ _ _ _ey
Are you an in-towner___out-of-towner___? FFB___ BT___ FFBWSL___ [Frum From Birth With Some Lapses]
How many years have you been in Yeshiva?_______ How many years have you been learning?___
Are you Married?____ Single?___ Divorced?___ Undecided?___ [ How old are you anyway?]
If you are single, are you out of the freezer yet?____ When will you be?___________
If you are dating: How many Sedorim do you take off after each date to recuperate?____________
How many times do you repeat how awful the last date was on average?____________
If you are married does your wife really expect you to be in the Bais Medrash?_ Does she know?_
Do you own a car?________ Will you lend it to a Chevrusa for dates?___ For heart attacks?___
What time does first seder start for you?__ Do you believe in second seder?__ Are you aware that there is a night seder?
Are you a smoker?___If you are, do you mind if your chevrusa never buys his own?___
If you are not, will you mind your chevrusa taking a ‘break’ every 10 minutes?
How many coffee breaks will you be taking per hour___? Do you drink decaf or regular?___ Are you often ‘wired’?__
Do you have any sisters?___ How old are they?______ [How much did you say your old man makes?]__
Do you bathe daily or Dafka only L’Kuvid Shabbis Koidesh?_____
What brand of deodorant do you use?___[You do use deodorant, don’t you?]
How many of your friends do you forsee getting married this Z’man?__ Will you miss first Seder after: each__, most__, some__, a few__ ,of them?
While learning do you: Shuckle___, shout____, pace___, wave your arms_____, other______?
During Davening do you prefer to sit in front___ , the middle___, the back___, the Ezras Nashim___, the back room___, the hallway____?
Does your cell-phone play: only Jewish music___, classical____, schlock rock___, oldies___?
How many important phone calls do receive daily during seder?____
Do you have a beeper as well?__ [Whatever for?]
Would you consider yourself chasidish_ Brisker_, Lakewood_, Stam black hat_, modern__,yeshivish__, centrist__, a do-it-yourselfer___?
Do you ever remove your hat and jacket?__ If so, under what circumstances?______
Politically, are you to the left or right of: Attila the Hun [l][r], Harry Truman [l][r], Elmer Fudd [l][r]?
What percent of first seder is spent discussing: Sports___ Politics___ Shiduchim___ Learning____?
What percent of second seder is spent discussing: Sports___ Politics___ Shiduchim___ ?
What percent of night seder is spent discussing: Sports___ Politics___ Shiduchim___ Learning___?
How much time can you be expected to spend, daily, solving the world’s problems?__________
Are you generally aware of which Mesechta the Yeshiva is learning___?
What is your normal bedtime?___ When was the last time you actually went to sleep at that time?___ How many times a week will you fall asleep during seder?_____
How often do you go away for Shabbis__? Are you ever back for seder on Sunday___?
List all your nervous tics:_________________________________________________
Do you often eat onions?_____ garlic?_____ herring?______
How mant times a week do you order pizza?__ How many times a week would you like to order pizza? __
Do you share?___ Will you take your Chevrusa’s preferences in toppings into account?____
How free are you with gratuitous advice? Very free___ Extremely free____ Inordinately free____
During secular studies in high school you paid attention: rarely____ never___ who remembers____
When driving do you hold the steering wheel with : one hand___ one finger___ your knees___
In a short essay of less than 40 pages,describe all the things you think the Rosh Yeshiva is doing wrong and how you could run the Yeshiva better.
If someone exists who is compatible with your mishigassin we will contact you.